(. .)

MOVED!

2011-05-27T03:11:00.000+08:00

To dear friends and strangers,

I now blog at Catullus 85 http://catullus85.blogspot.com

Please kindly update your url/bookmarks/google reader/whatever you use to view my blog and thanks for reading/come by.

Thank you!

Cheers,

pinz.

Goodbye, my lover.

2011-05-27T03:06:00.000+08:00

We started since the late 2003, if I'm not wrong.

You have always been here for me, good times and bad times, you allow me to express myself in my own ways. Teenage rage and depressive rants.

With one button, we've restarted again on year 2008.

Those writings before, how I miss them… they were a part of me. But you showed me, we should move on and linger not on these negative and depressive thoughts. You showed me that I can outdo myself. You witness the growth and changes in me.

I am constantly changing, yet you remained the same.

With a heavy heart, I shall leave you now and proceed to a new home. I am not strong enough to delete and deny your existence as you were once so important to me. I still remember some of my archives by heart. I still enjoy your very existence, my sense of ownership towards you, the sentimental past… it's all here – with you.

Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye, my dear blog.

Hello, present.

go with the flow.

2011-05-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

黃小琥 - 順其自然

作詞：姚若龍作曲：蕭煌奇

一份愛會出現裂痕

兩個人都要負責任

有些成長來自承認

我終於掙脫怨與恨

年輕總習慣去爭論

要別人照我的劇本

滿身傷痕才知道悲哀是互不信任

不在乎的眼神

內心悄悄破損

在午夜的時分被一個夢給拆穿沒忘記那個人

我試著讓生活變得清淡對幸福或寂寞順其自然

偶爾小小孤單偶爾小小浪漫不怕大喜大悲那麼難負擔

不想再背負太多期盼對好奇或關心順其自然

只是那點不安只是那點辛酸

總會忽然擴散讓心又累又茫然

一份愛會出現裂痕

兩個人都要負責任

有些成長來自承認

我終於掙脫怨與恨

年輕總習慣去爭論

要別人照我的劇本

滿身傷痕才知道悲哀是互不信任

每一次記憶的翻騰既美好也殘忍

思念讓舊情有餘溫

將我困在早應該要離開的空城

我試著讓生活變得清淡對幸福或寂寞順其自然

偶爾小小孤單偶爾小小浪漫不怕大喜大悲那麼難負擔

不想再背負太多期盼對好奇或關心順其自然

只是那點不安只是那點辛酸

總會忽然擴散讓心又累又茫然*

期望有人陪伴

random ramblings.

2011-05-03T06:59:00.000+08:00

The gap time of not updating blog is obvious.

On contrast to Julie of Julie and Julia, I care very little of maintaining my blog or the idea of pleasing and informing readers of any sorts.

Having that said, it almost always reminds me that human sometimes either think too little or too much. Consciously or unconsciously.

Sex and the city have a quote that says, "Sometimes it’s easier to say that you don't care... than to explain all the reasons why you do."

Script writers, aren't they amazing?

(img from wikipedia)

Anyway, Rio (2011) was a pretty good movie, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

What I can't stand is Jesse Eisenberg. The moment his character speaks, it just irritates the hell out of me. My dislike for Jesse's way of speech started since I saw him in The Social Network.

It's just the way he speaks his line, I understand that he is representing a big majority bunch of insecure nerds out there who have social skills problems; yet, it's disturbing how closely he resembles the way the Gilmore girls spoke in the Gilmore Girls series. However, the girls spoke with a hint of confidence and it was bearable (the speed of their speech), I liked the series a lot too because Alexis Bledel is gorgeous. :p

I hope Jesse doesn't speak that way in real life because it's seriously irritating. And no one should ever copy the way he speaks in real life. The speed shows lack of confidence (which I only approve on screen because of the role he plays), the tone is well… wussy. It irritates me to see male like that, boy and guys alike. As if men have disappear from earth and replaced by this bunch of weak, soft-looking, indecisive males of cowardice.

Even in Rio, his character shows such weak personality. It makes me wonder, is it because of the media or males today are really heading this way?

This weak and lack of confident way of personality, really... what happened?

(img from imgfave)

It isn't easy.

2011-04-15T04:33:00.003+08:00

黄小琥 - 没那么简单

作词：姚若龙作曲：萧煌奇

没那么简单就能找到聊得来的伴

尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛

总是不安只好强悍谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那么简单就能去爱别的全不看*

变得实际也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单一久也习惯

不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话随便听一听自己作决定

不想拥有太多情绪一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上关上了手机舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱作梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那么容易才会特别让人着迷

什么都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

相爱没有那么容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱作梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那么容易才会特别让人着迷

什么都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心但却最动心的记忆

What is Your Love Strategy?

2011-01-08T17:25:00.001+08:00

Just read this off Christopher's website and wanted to share it to everyone so that more hearts can be filled with love. Transcript by Joanna and I did some minor edits; but some sentence are oddly constructed, because it's a speech. :]
And what a great talk this is, I hope I'm there for next one!

SPEAKER: PATCH ADAMS@The Gathering of Great Minds, Series 3.

Title : What is Your Love Strategy?

I will give an argument first and then a pep talk on love.

My love is a world where no one remembers what a war is. Where no one can believe of a war.

That's why I'm so intense, I'm a war orphan. What I can say since I've clowned everyday, I guarantee that 99% of the earth to hug me. People would never let me do that in a gray suit looking like an old fart. I'VE clowned in 3 wars.

As I was describing to somebody today, it has always fascinated me. It took me 3 airports to get here. People passively were able to ignore everybody. Masterly done. So one thing you do is you interrupt that. So in the thousand times you do it, it becomes really easy.

What is your love strategy?

I have 50 presentations; this one sprang up after the historic event 9/11. I'm a political activist ever since my father died as a soldier when I was 16. And I knew that morning. That our president and vice couldn't wait for war. It's Business. One of The best businesses.

And I can see on society, Revenge War, revenge War . . . Old this philosophy.

And wow, I can see just how happy people are going to war again, we’re working it up for N.Korea right now.

So I called up CNN many times, saying, why don't you let me talk about a love strategy, let me talk to the nation about a love response. And every time I called up, they said, no one was interested. I know thousands of people, and nobody I know, wanted War-. In a Nation pre dominantly Christian, I haven't found many Christians there. So if you say you're Christian and you wanna go for more, you're lying.

So what do I know, what did my life tell me about no one being interested about a love strategy? It is my intent to know you better than anyone who has ever known you. If I see any weirdness, I ask further.
Raise your hand if you can think about something more important than loving.
(NIL)

I've only experienced 10 PEOPLE who have raised their hand which is mathematically insignificant. The most important thing in life loves. So what is the philosophy of loving? People can think about the most important thing in life. And the obvious 2nd question is = How do you carry it out, How do you do it.

No one has thought of loving their god, their humanity, Loving Trees. Now in short Form. No one started in a simple sentence in a million years. Maybe CNN is right. Like the state Christians, we just say it's the most important thing in life.

So 5 hours a week of SCIENCE, Math, Language for 13 years. Certainly people would not say mathematics as the most important thing in life. There's not 1 school that would teach about the most important thing in life.

It's so awesome that that's true.

How would we know if we never had a single course on it?

Ok so we don’t think about it and we don't teach it.

Another way is we go out with friends and we have dinner, soccer, and food, so we don't think about it, we don't teach it, we don't love it. And it's still voted the most important thing in life.

Yeah, maybe CNN is right, No one would be interested in a Love Strategy. There's a continues WAR epic but not love, the most important thing in life

30,000 die everyday from war and I hinted, I held 2000 in my arms. And I can tell you, it is HELL!

Nothing can be cheaper than feeding hungry children. No country in history was ever safe to its women. In fact we men never gave women the right to vote until New Zealand. 20 to 50 million children a day have sex with a child in sexual slavery. UN Peacekeepers are some of the big users. No Love strategy there.

So CNN are sounding right. How is NATURE??? I love Nature. Nothing in Nature is going well. We're destroying our water, air. . Nothing I study, and I'm not a pessimist. Nothing I studied gives me any sense humans will survive this century.

I know millions of workers. Giving justice. Etc. But I don't see any trend. And yet.

Loving is the most important thing in life.

I imagine,
OUR Galaxy contains a hundred billion stars. Let's imagine this new planet. Holds loving to be the most important thing in life. And they wanna go check it out. That there's Earth and they fly to earth to study, what humans LOVE.

They watch a lot of TV, eat food, they go back to their Planet. And write up papers, that we love to LOVE MONEY, Power. Over.

What HAS love missed?

I simplify sense is to say, Love is a Feeling. If there are problems in loving, it's in the feelings; I'm talking about love as an intelligence. If WE throw love in a trash can as a feeling. Then it can't be thought. I thought medicine was the practice of compassion. I've worked 30 years, and in 30 YEARS finally, Peru is letting us study the meaning of Compassion.

But I promise you. If you're good at loving, you're thinking about it. It's an intelligence. Cause if you're not ecstatic about Loving everyday of your life. - WAKE UP.

Now for my PEP TALK ON LOVE.

“YAY LOVEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patch : WHAT??
YAY LOVE!!!!!!!
Patch : WHUTTTT???
YAY LOVE!!!!!!! WHOOHOOO”

I'm definitely in the Yay love Category. I'm gonna introduce to you. THE SIZE OF LOVE.

LOVE IS SO BIG!!!! That even when we don't think about it, SPEAK IT, TEACH It.- It's still number 1.

Even if we act like SOCCER is number 1. And I wanna show you the bigness of love through this Lemon.

Crowd: oooooooooo
Patch : Lets look at the other side.
Crowd: ahhhhh
Patch : Now lets be sincere, are we loving the lemon???
Crowd… ahhh.
Patch : Now lets look at the sides.
For a moment, I want you to think of a few lines for this lemon, so that it’d become Immortal.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

And I'm going to recite you

A poem most read by Pablo Neruda.

Title: A Lemon

From blossoms
released
by the moonlight,
from an
aroma of exasperated
love,
steeped in fragrance,
yellowness
drifted from the lemon tree,
and from its plantarium
lemons descended to the earth.
Tender yield!
The coasts,
the markets glowed
with light, with
unrefined gold;
we opened
two halves
of a miracle,
congealed acid
trickled
from the hemispheres
of a star,
the most intense liqueur
of nature,
unique, vivid,
concentrated,
born of the cool, fresh
lemon,
of its fragrant house,
its acid, secret symmetry.
Knives
sliced a small
cathedral
in the lemon,
the concealed apse, opened,
revealed acid stained glass,
drops
oozed topaz,
altars,
cool architecture.
So, when you hold
the hemisphere
of a cut lemon
above your plate,
you spill
a universe of gold,
a yellow goblet
of miracles,
a fragrant nipple
of the earth’s breast,
a ray of light that was made fruit,
the minute fire of a planet.
(Poem has been mixed with emotion when on Stage)

The Size of love the bigness. I listed 7 things. I love thermal, but the first one is the most special for me. My spiritual light. I never once thought about GOD. And when I was an adult, It didn't make any sense. But as I would meet that one person who was faithful, whose faith's electric fire was impossible. When I hear them talk about GOD, I hear them use a language of Friends. So for me, GOD is Friends. When I do those 4 hour interviews, I wanna know another human being, I wanna know that much. So that my god can step into my life.

No.1

I love people. I haven't sought solitude in my life. I started a commune a few years ago cause wanted to love as a group of people, our natural state. One of the controversial things I say to a medical audience. Depressions are a pharmaceutical diagnosis. Depressions is not a disease, Loneliness is a Disease. We were always communal Animals. That's why I feel so unnatural the way we're living. How do you know we have a friend? It’'s the same way as to know that there is a God. Not only do I know that there is a Friend that I have made, but I always assume that a friend is a stranger I haven't met yet. A friend is in your life. That each friend represents a world in us and only by meeting that a world is born. A friend is a World. That's how the world is born.

I'm addicted to People. If you sit next to me on an airplane, you're in Trouble. But Sorry- Here I am. I'm going to connect. So that's right up there with that lemon. I love people they are my life.

No.2

(No. 2) On the list is that includes EVERYTHING. I LOVE LIFE– YARRR!!! HAHAHA. I LOVE LIFE. Wake up in the morning- COME ON!!! Everything that you ever love. YEAH that's WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! Now if you think about it. How many shades of green are there really? Now as money shows You, The Green will change as the sun goes up and down!

Now if you know Biology, it's the respiratory chemical for plants. Hemoglobin is the respiratory chemical for Animals. – RED!!! The love of LIFE!!! I'm so amazed that most of the nation that I grew up in is miserable. Just read 20th century literature.

Once you have food and a friend. It's all luxury from there. What are you Bitching about???

On the way here. . . I saw- 3 STOREY HIGH ADS for a BURGER??… People must not like it so much.

Why is Stephen Hawking so happy? He writes book with a Stick in his mouth. And he's HAPPY. SHITTTTT. (bahar style) Must be on something. I see kissing as the greatest human experience. For me it's kissing Susan. For me the love of life, it goes BEYONDDD kissing. The love o fluff is everything.

Who likes to stand in the Big rain and just get WET?!!!

No3.

I LOVE Rain.

I loved it you know, when I was in college. There were places where in my suit, I'd go stand beside a puddle and a car would go by and OH BOY! :D and also the looks on their faces when they think they did something horrible to you.

I wish I knew every poem in all the books, no way, and I'm a good memorizer. So you wanna like a flower with a fewer spices. I tell people. IF YOU DON’T LIKE LIFE. WHY DON’T YOU DIE!!!?? RecyCLE!!! I don't care how many times I have to mention it.

No. 4
I LOVE NATURE. I am DRUNK on Nature.

NATURE. Oh Boy!! I love BUGS. When we're 400 million years old, we'd be gone, they'll still be here.

Let's take ants. If we take all the ants and put them together, it'll be heavier than all the animals put together on earth.

Chiggers, how do they mate? You find out. You would probably think. HOW DO THEY DO THAT???

One of our greatest poets, Emily Dickinson, she wrote poems about the rock. A blade of grass here. A mushroom over there. LOL. Not one of those mushrooms. Real Mushrooms. Now a patient would be struggling and they’d be hurting, ya know. AND I'd say. Take them all up.

They'd just look and say, Hey come on yeah, they're not suffering like I am.

Most Americans under 30 have no idea what to do with nature. Most young people have no relationship to do with nature. Kids are usually interested in something electronic. How embarrassing. They were afraid they would go outside and play video games with their lives.

That is NOT life.

I love nature. mmphhphph. Body SurfinGg SPLAT.

No. 5 in my list. If we metaphorically say god created nature, what would be equal to nature's creation. OF course I’m thinking of THE ARTS. All of them. Is Breath Taking. Whether it's 1 artist you like, or a school of Artist. Or ALL the school of arts in your work, class, craft arts?

Susan and I for 4 years have been studying Tango. YEAH BABY. If you wanna study something with your hunnybun. . YEAH ooooooo… I’ve been arrested for short term, but not long term. I’m an addict of reading.

That’s why traveling 300 days a year sounds like it’s hard. And for this trip I brought 5 books. To make sure I had enough to read.

I exercise so that I’m fit for a 65 years old.

I love to Rock and Roll; I love the dance steps where you hold the hands of your partner. That waltzing, jitterbugging… Everything about the arts is calling out to you. If you listen to Bach, There are a hundred and 72 CDs. And I didn’t do psychiatric. So if you’re hurting, =Born to Loose.

“Born to lose, I’ve lived my life in vain. Every dream has only brought me pain. All my life I’ve always been so blue. Born to lose, and now I’m losing you.

Born to lose, it seems so hard to bear. How I long to always have you near? You’ve grown tired and now you say we’re through. Born to lose, and now I’m losing you.

Born to lose, my every hope is gone. It’s so hard to face an empty dawn. You were all the happiness I knew. Born to lose, and now I’m losing you.

There’s no use to dream of happiness. All I see is only loneliness. All my life, I’ve always been so blue. Born to lose, and now I’m losing you”

no. 6
I love the arts. Our hospital that we’re building now, It’s an Arts Centered Hospital. A huge library of music. THE architecture is magnificent. For us, Arts is the centre focus of human life. Probably at 1 time, HEALING, SPRIIT AND Arts all came from the same person. The weird person in the tribe. Eventually they went to different sides, but it’s actually all the same.

Everyone is an actor, singer dancer, everyone is an artist. Only you can deny it to yourself.

It’s normally not something you love. But I love it. – I LOVE Thinking.

no 7. Thinking.
Giving up all the possibilities for a tiny bit of time on this planet. Everything first came through thinking.

Thinking says there are solutions, if you’re looking for solutions look for thinking. Thinking makes you drunk.

You can’t believe the power of this thought- in relationship to this thought.

I’m in love with SUSAN. We’ve had 20 years together and she's the most intelligent person I know. I know I’ve grown overtime. We've had a conversation. I love thinking you know. That's why I'm not a pessimist at all. 30 years ago, that a person could stop public violence. They didn’t need to do karate or kung fu. JUST by clowning.
And I was thinking what was the gift? The gift is to be able to ponder, to think all your life and never come to a conclusion.

WHAT IS LIFE?

WHO AM I?

Love in Action. CARING.

Caring for others. My other taught me to be a caring person.

She didn’t have another way of being with me.

She’'s never angry mean, unkind rude.

My mother was very generous, she was.

So my brother and I, we'd manage the building in West Virginia. And my idea of a vacation is going to Haiti. January- Ecuador, February- Peru for example.

Those exercises that you saw, I wanna do those things with people who were hurting. I never make any money as a doctor, I don’t own anything. I made money lecturing and speaking and i gave it all away. My 2 sons worked with me. We grew up together. And so we work together. I care and I speak for justice. I get beaten up countless times. I go to wars dressed as a clown without any weapons. Cause I care. It makes me Drunk.

I love to care. If I was on an elevator and I see a person who’s hurting. I reach out and touch them.

If you have desire, and desire drives a motor, through that the thinking and Thinking gives you a plan.

When they think about love these days, they go to the idea of romance to be in love. To be in love. TO be Lovers.

If we took all the poems and stories about being in love. Neruda has a hundred love sonnets to his 3rd wife. This is Number 16.

SONNET XVII
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

Nice eh? He liked her.

I know a lot of them by heart cause I didn’t know in 14 lines you can say so much.

Edward Cummings. Wrote it for a friend but I think it was for a lover.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

YAY LOVE!!!!
I’ve clowned everyday since the age of 18. Cause I wanted to stop violence. Thousands of nursing homes. My favorite place to hung is out in public, probably would do it at the airport. Latin people are… Very Enthusiastic. And when I’m clowning this way. We’re suffering. We can see those faces, walk on that elevator and be pretty spot on Many Times.

And I was in this park and there was this young women in a wheelchair. Why is her face so un at ease. Why, She could be sleeping, Orthopedically frozen in that position… You couldn’t be around them unless you’re used to it.

But I’m sure it’s the 3rd reason.

It’s such narrow definition of bulimia and anorexia. We’ve had old people go to pathetic wrinkly doctors. So cosmetic is a multibillion dollar industry, so the definition of beauty is very narrow. So if you’re beautiful, it’s a curse of how that narrow definition is.

How would it feel like to Hideously Ugly?

If they look at it at all, it’s obsessive on how someone can be that ugly. War torn faces, Because every time they leave the door of their house, They are told of how UGLY they are. There’s nothing wrong with them. It’s because of the narrow definition of beauty. And with this, even if you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, they would feel ugly…

I’ve never asked permission to be a clown. .

This person is Cathy.

Picture is for illustration only (Source: spinzer.us)

(VIDEO)
Cathy is a girl in a wheelchair. Touching her, Caressing her. No one exists but me and her. And I am saying- Tequiro** I love you. I always try to convey that I’m never in a hurry. Here I’m doing a clown neurological exam. It might help you to know, I have no idea what I’m doing. Look at how much permission have as an invasion as a Clown. With Cerebral Palsy. And when she drools, SHE Wipes it embarrassed because of drooling is a social perception that is wrong. And she would stop all the fun just to fight it. If I took her right hand to stop her from wiping it, she would do it with her left hand in embarrassment. She knows it’s wrong to drool.

I of course tell her, it’s ok to drool. You can drool a lot on me. Caressing remember? . . . Saying I love you. **Cathy says HI to the Camera. With a huge smile on her face. A lot of laughter.**

Cathy is actually a beautiful young lady, only waiting for someone to notice her.

NEXT- (VIDEO)
There was this girl who had *bone something. So there was no medicine in the hospital so the mother had to sit beside her son who was screaming in pain like this- AHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!. . . And that was the mother’s life with her child. I had never dealt with that. But I knew that I could go in there and, for 1 hour, I was in there and the child. Didn’t scream once.

I was shocked as a physician, shocked as a clown. I wish I could give something to the mother and say do this. . . I can’t tell you what I did, I don’t know what happened. But the look on the mother’s face. was remarkable. as she saw her sons face laugh with joy.

We’re going to see this suffering now, In Russia. This girl. There’s no hope, and he would be dead soon. The mother, was pacing herself preparing herself to know that there’s no hope that her only child is going to die. The interaction was 1 hour 30 minutes. and the first 15 minutes or so. And the child, comes back from the 3rd surgery, There’s no hope. It looks like they’re withdrawing with us, Not eating, Not drinking. and she hasn’t been responding to people. and in that 15 minutes, she was playing and eating and doing odd thing. she joined us for the last 40 minutes.

NEXT
Sasha. – My fish, is swimming in for a kiss. (rubber fish) And 2 fish woke up for a friend. BLUBLUEBLEUBLUEBELUBEBEUBEUBELBLUBLUBLBLUBUL(Fish Language) URAGHHHHH. BLEUBULEBLUEBLUE. Fish Swimming. BLUEBLUEBLUE. hehehe. BLUEBLEUBLUE. Ok.
He turned a Fish KeyChain into a Cell Phone. BLUEBLEUBLEU. So you’re saying PATCH I WURVE YOU….!!!. it will go to Europe, America Africa. And my ears. I will hear a message from Sasha!!! SHE LOVES ME….

I hate Orphanages, and I can’t believe they won’t take care of children. I hate orphanages. Parents should love their children. So people say, Patch what is this, you go to Orphanages for years bring them hope and then go off and make them sad again…

You're not alone.

And I hope you understand the exercises that you did. . .

(VIDEO-continues)
ok that’s enough- Ok. LIGHTS.

LET me tell you, everyone’s welcome on our trips. Everyone is Welcome. I’m gonna give you 2 love strategies,

1. is gratitude, A very simple one. To be thankful.

For arms, legs, food, friends, all the precious part of life that you have. Possibility, To wake up Thankful, Live the day thankful, As I go into the ocean of gratitude, I never go to shore, I swum Grateful, and it has given me a very loving life.

2. When I was 18 I decided to be happy, and it has worked for 47 years. I WILL BE LOVING. I will love all people. I love. All people. Notice. I’m not saying. I should be loving, I hope to be loving. etc. I WILL BE LOVING. !!! PERIOD. I will raise my right hand!!! I’m in charge. Having an intention. My job is to take all my life history. Love improvisation, To choose, The performance in this particular moment that best puts my intention forward and immediately look at the consequences, if I don’t like what I do, I immediately change my performance.

To be present. ALERT. I will be LOVING. From the moment I wake up I know my intentions are there. So WHEN I wake up with Susan. I know that I’m there. That’s also called mindfulness, YOU are present.
Most people are a Because, They do the things because. Because of race, my father, etc.

I don’t have an option. I WILL BE LOVING. If I know my performance is not loving. I will change my performance. And so you change your performance. It’s that easy. So you change the performance. If you study Buddhism, it’s about to be present, to be present. ALERT...

I’m sorry to say, now that you know it’s easy. – It's up to you.
——————————————————————————
Q&A:

Ok what happens if someone’s afraid of clowns?
Mther. GO SEE THE CLOWN
CHILD; I DON’T WANNA SEE THE CLOWN.
Mther. GO SEE THE CLOWN
CHILD; I DON’T WANNA SEE THE CLOWN.
Mther. GO SEE THE CLOWN
CHILD; I DON’T WANNA SEE THE CLOWN.
Mther. GO SEE THE CLOWN
CHILD; I DON’T WANNA SEE THE CLOWN.
Mther. GO SEE THE CLOWN
CHILD; I DON’T WANNA SEE THE CLOWN.
Patch : Shoot the Parent.

You see I’m relaxed about it because in clowning. We’re all are there to just see. We’re not very mindful; we see a huge number of people not connecting with anybody. Cause well, you know, I’m a PRO. I’m in a grocery story and there’s a parent and child hurting each other. So I kinda back up and do the weird super Hero thing. And no matter how terrible it is but this has only been part of the triple Threat.

So if you’re loving, your partner and you’ve not a good repines. So if your partner’s telling you that what you’re doing is not working, you listen. Cause your strategy is to be sweet and loving.

Now I’ve clowned in war zones. With guns…

Find me; I reply every mail sent to me. There's always a time for you.

Write Me. I’ve never not replied a letter yet. If I do miss it. Write to me AGAIN.
Dr. Patch Adams and the Gesundheit! Institute,
P.O. Box 50125, Arlington,
VA 22205 USA.

2011. Binary Year.

2011-01-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

Another, better binary year; 20- kind of sounds nicer than the previous 19-,18-, 17- and so forth.

From centuries of limited information within the human civilization, to the century of overloaded information in our current human civilization, are we listening much more clearly or do we fail to listen because there are too much noises?

There were age of elegance and certainly this age now is anything but that. An age of socialising, perhaps?

Either way, I’m glad that I’m alive, breathing, et al et cetera.

It’s in my usual melodramatic self to be nostalgic about certain centuries. The time when ZhuGe Liang the great strategist is alive, the Ming, the Tang, the time when baroque and rococo are popular and many more… I do embrace the minimalism of design nowadays. Though, art… it is unspeakable itself. We can hardly rationalize emotions with words. This century, I hope I can be, if not all but half, like these men of old days. As they can see more, with accuracy, with a heart of gold and better with a clear mind of a quiet soul; which makes me wonder, how many of such left in this century?

A year of questioning for me; for many needs to be revisited and gives a fresh thought. Many a heavy subjects, yet necessary as our existence are not merely being measured by our material goods.

On a lighter note, this year is also a fitness year for me.

Ever since I’ve gone out of “jail” (National Service camp), I’ve crave and ate everything that is edible under the sun. Although it’s not a real jail, but trust me, I would imagine a real one being worst than that and am already terrified enough. 3 months of curry and rice or in my case, porridge and plain bread can send many signals to the brain.

I have this constant thought of I’d be deprive of good, if not the best food one day if I don’t eat enough of them. And when I’m writing this now, I’m craving Penang Laksa and thinking about dimsum with my girls.

It’s no wonder why my grandparents or parents generation would splurge of luxurious food. My paternal grandmother herself has gone through the Japanese occupation and she never waste a bit of food. Her favourite food now is siew yuk (roasted pork) and I can truly understand why. I didn’t used to like pork until my maternal grandmother made a dish so delicious, I thought chicken has upgraded their meat! It’s mostly cultural in our ethnic to eat pork but it does have a unique taste that no other animals can reproduce and the French would tell you that too.

A doughnut doesn’t taste good unless they are fried in pork lard.

The secret ingredient to a flavourful spaghetti is pork lard.

Bacon and ham makes one of the best breakfasts with toasts, crepes or pancakes.

I digress. Anyway, I should eat more responsibly this year with the Qi in mind. A balanced diet with adequate exercise is what most common modern man lack nowadays.

It’s irresponsible to fat unless one is medically or genetically caused so.

Until then, I shall post up some awesome pictures of food and me just for fun.

Happy 2011. :]

[Fun facts: The French eats horse, the Japs eats whale, the Chinese eats dogs; these are all very cultural as it is a need to survive rather than saying "ew, it's too cute to be eaten". These meats, today's delicacy, were considered a poor man's food back then.]

Winter Solstice Dinner.

Clams of Tanjung Sepat.

A simple Wan Tan mee.

A night's out.

2010-12-09T16:28:00.000+08:00

Dearest Wen Pink is a stewardess now! I don't get to see her often and a last minute night's out was made happened, thanks to twitter!

Lih Ren also came by as it's been too long! Along with Chris aka spinzer and Jenkin Yat at Sid's Pub Bangsar.

All photos courtesty of Chris, with his beautiful white Lumix LX-5 (which I like!).

The big boys.

The girls.

My pint of Heineken with me as the background. Nice photo from yat!

{this is a BL too.}

The turning?

2010-11-30T17:23:00.003+08:00

We could do with less sex songs and more like these...
:]

Eminem - Not Afraid

Yeah, It's been a ride... I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there
\
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
Imma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
No if and or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album
he's still shit and Whether he's on salary, paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the whole universe

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground Relax,
I ain't going back to that now
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BOOW
Cause I ain't playin' around
There's a game called circle and I don't know how I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryin figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't
This fucking black cloud's still follows me around
But it's time to exorcise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don't even realise what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of My world,
haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on,
I promise To focus solely on handling my responsibility's as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Kid Cudi (ft. MGMT and Ratatat) - Pursuit Of Happiness

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit

Feelin' lit feelin' light, 2 am summer night.

I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin' my thang

Rollin the Midwest side and out livin' my life getting' out dreams

People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that

Imma do just what I want, lookin' ahead no turnin'’ back

if I fall if I die know I lived it till the fullest

if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold

I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.

Tell me what you know about dreamin' dreamin'

you don't really know about nothin' nothin'

tell me what you know about them night terrors every night

5 am, cold sweats wakin' up to the skies

tell me what you know about dreams, dreams

tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin'

you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow

rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold

I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness.

I know everything that shines ain't always gold

I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey

I'll be fine once I get it, yeah, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness

And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey

I'll be fine once I get it, yeah

I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah

I don't get it, I'll be good

Kid Cudi - Up, Up and Away

Now when the sun come up

I'll be there to say what up

in the morning brush my teeth

find that clip I've been lookin

for since last night

I feel so caught up in the bud

I float somehow in my bedroom turn around see myself in the mirror

I guess I'm cool and

those happy thoughts, in my head, I'm feeling like I'm peter pan minus the tights and the fairies happy to see how far I've come to the same place it began my dreams and imagination perfectly at peace so I move along a bit higher

I'll be up up and away

up up and away

coz they gon' judge me anyway so whatever

I'll be up up and away

up up and away

coz in the end they'll judge me anyway so whatever

higher learn, I've seen the dreams I've made so I'm cooler now

I could take care of my mom

and my little niece Zuri so

sing along lil' mama you aint gotta worry bout no drama

no I'll provide for friends and fam and fans cleveland city grinder man stay afloat

the key is hope

I never let a motherfucka break me dogg who gives a fuck if a nigga don't like your styles tell em to buzz off your n-u-tz we don't care what people say dudes who critique your clothes are most gay

I ain't gotta wait for no one

If I wanna fly I could fly for freedom. Hey!

I'll be up up and away

up up and away

coz they gon' judge me anyway so whatever

I'll be up up and away

up up and away

coz in the end they'll judge me anyway so whatever